Way to go Bro!!

Times are changing.. for the better or worse.. hard to say.. but things are really changing. I have been feeling very sad lately. Mushy to be more precise. I really wish I could get off it. But somehow seems like its not possible. What with my college ending in another fortnight, me going far far away from home in about 3 months, mom and bro moving away to a new city and my best friend thinking its not best anymore. I don't really know how to go about it. I feel stranded alone in that island that is thousands of miles away from any inhabited place.

My bro is a teen now. We have been this proper sis-bro who keep fighting all the time. But now.. I don't really know if he has grown up or its just my going away thats making me feel so sentimental. There is less than a week to go and he is moving out of this place. Agreed its all for his education but somehow it feels really bad. Probably I should have had sweeter times with him than I have actually did. Getting to think of it now makes me feel more sad. After all he is a small boy (Damn!! Why dint I feel all this for so long!!)

Mom has started packing the stuff. You should really look at all that my bro is doing. I have been down sick since yesterday and that really leaves only him out to help mom. May be thats making him do it all or may be its just that he is too bored with his holidays. But the fact remains that he is helping mom. No, actually he is doing a lot of work. Yesterday he was washing the car. He brought all groceries for mom in the morning.He went to take some photocopies which took nearly an hour of his. He was cleaning one of the shelves, packing the books in boxes and throwing away the old ones for the whole afternoon today. He even got me a drink for I was very ill and mom said a drink would do me good. I really don't know whats come over him but he is just awesome. Way to go bro!!!!!!!!! Love you loads.

P.S. I really wish I have more time with him and also everything else would be back to normal as I hear it being said a lot of times now. :(

Interview.. for MBA!!??

I had the first of my 2 interviews for a B-School yesterday. Now the exclamation and question marks in the title are to express my own state of mind. Almost everyone I know thinks I am just beyond them. Why am I still taking these interviews even after admits!! Well.. I have my own reasons. Moreover, after a lot of contemplation I realized what I wanted to do for life, well almost. I know I would be happy if I do it. It satisfies everything that I consider a necessity for a blissful life. But how easy it is to do that is beyond my comprehension. But I sure want to give it my best shot. Be it masters or MBA to me it is all the means to achieve the same end. The end that which I sure what to reach. If, for some incomprehensible reason,it does not happen, again neither of it would be a bad option. So here I went, for S P Jain's interview...

Before I straight go into it, I have to confess I dint go through any of the preparations that I should have. I am really sorry that I could not take a mock interview with my teacher, one of the best I have met so far. I know I should have taken one and I am sure he would have had a lot of useful points to make which might have made my interview way better than what it was. But, as always, I am very much more comfortable being honest and I really can not stick to the norms of how I should answer questions. This happened with my sop too, a different story altogether which I believe I would post sometime. So I went for this interview with just about zilch preparation.

The interview happened in IIM B. The first time I ever went to the place. My friend tells I still should not be saying that for I went hardly half a km into the campus to where the interviews were held and that's about it. The journey to Bangalore was one of the most tiring journeys I have ever had. Anyways, getting back to the interview. I reached the place almost on time and we were asked to wait till our names were called. As usual, I had a novel with me that I started reading. Getting to think about it, may be its my way to keep me from getting badly tensed. Not that I am absolutely cool even that way but it is loads better than just waiting for my turn. So my name is called and I had to submit some forms and finally we were escorted to the panel. If you dint know, S P Jain has this concept of group interview where a whole lot of people are questioned together. My group had 7 people, 4 guys and 3 girls(With all the 3 of us opting for finance. That's amazing right!!) So there we went. We had 2 professors ready for us.

One of the professors asked us to introduce ourselves in 2min each. So people started rattling off with their absolutely well rehearsed answers. I was the 6th person in the group and about 3 people before me got a "very good" for their introductions. Not to forget is the fact that everyone in my group, except me that is, had work experience, which I felt was a distinct disadvantage to me, more so after the interview got over. So finally I get the turn to talk about me.

Me: I am so-so doing such-such things, my father is this, I want to...
Prof: (I am cut off here) lets get to it later.
Me:(I continue with other things) I like this and being a prodie this matched...
Prof:we will get to it later(Oops!! I am cut again)
Me:(Damn!! Am I conveying anything at all) I did these things in so many years and I like to do this.
So finally I introduced myself but... okay.. you know how it went..
Then the questioning started at a personal level. Starting with their work ex mostly. Discussing about Satyam, global meltdown, Lehman Brothers and all that.
Prof:(to someone before me) Why do you think this company transferred from ICICI to SBI??
He starts pointing out to people to get their views and I was skipped when the 7th guy was asked his view. Damn!! Things are just not going my way.
The fourth guy is being questioned. One of those S P Jain students who was there to help with the process comes into our room and points to his watch and goes off. Time is up!! And only the fourth guy is on. So finally he is done and then the 5th person, a gal. She is being questioned. Another S P Jain student walks in and tells the profs straight. Its getting late. Damn damn damn!! After this came my turn to be questioned. Prof calls out my name.

Me: yes sir
Prof: ..................... (yeah he says nothing)
Me: Sir...
Prof: 5 were questioned before you. You know what we are asking. So go on
Me:(What the hell!! Why does it happen to me all the time!! Well.. I have to talk anyway.) I have opted for finance because I want this, so I need this and this has to be done and this is necessary so I need to do finance
Prof2: Justify your choice of production engineering
Me: I had these options, my background was this, so this seemed an obvious choice
Prof2: But this does not really need finance..
Me: No sir, this is the way to go about things and this-this needs finance.
Prof: If this is what you want to do for life why finance?
Me: Sir.. (before I start explaining I am cut off)
Prof: I know why all you guys want an MBA. The posh suits, great cars and blah blah are so very attractive that everyone wants to go for an MBA.
Me: No sir, I want to do this this and so MBA.
Prof: Have you ever heard of TIFR?
Me: Sir... (I hardly started)
Prof: No.. That's Tata Institute of Fundamental Research. Any physicists who works there can do want you aspire to do.
Me: May be they can do this-this part of what I will do, but there r these-these-these for which finance is a necessity and without these-these no matter what I do would not be proper.
Prof: All that you guys are interested in is posh this-that. WHAT!! I am provoking you, say I am wrong if you want!!
Me: Sir..
Prof: Say I am wrong if you want!!
Me: No sir, its not..
Prof: you want to deny what I say. Say I am wrong!!
Me: Sir, you are wrong. Not everyone wants that. There are this-this-this reasons why people like me want to do MBA.
Prof: Okay, So why S P Jain
Me: This is the place..
Prof: No no.. be brief.. why? let everyone answer this question (point to a few people and then my turn)
Me: csr.. docc.. blah blah
Then he moved over to the next guy. And finally..
Prof: That's it. Thank you. No.. wait.. any questions to us??
Girl 1 : (asked something about joining dates)
Me:(Do I ask or no.. NO.. ASK.. NO DON'T) Sir, there is this myth that S P Jain does not prefer freshers...... ( I am yet to finish my question)
Prof: Who said so!! Last year's batch has about 30% freshers and realize!! 30% is a very huge number.
Me: Thank you sir.

That's it. We were done. Only if we qualify this we can go for the second round which is again a group interview to be held on the same day.Our wait for the results started...
My friend tells me the way my interview went and my not being asked a lot of questions and even skipped few is a very bad sign!! :( :( :( God save me..

(Okay.. This post is already too damn long with no essence that might interest many. So.. Let me continue again some other time.......)

Back to School...

High school days!! Guess that was the best part of my life as yet. Everything worked out just fine. Almost always happy and smiling. Had some weird gang of friends around who made life so much fun. Yesterday I was going through my high school community in Orkut when I came across few profiles that appeared vaguely familiar. Quite a few of them who are already in my list of friends. Quite a few more whom I could not place yet and hope to in the near future. And some whom I could recollect, two to be precise, one with a lot of thinking though. Well.. It would be good to add them and say a hello once in a while. One of them have already approved,the difficult one that is :)

So, thinking of high school days,actually those memories that were brought back when I was trying to think of these guys. One was a family friend. A very nice guy. Calm and kept to himself a lot. The first thing that I remembered was his father giving me a copy of the movie "5 Star" that was on when I was in class 10. Seems pretty silly, but thats what I got reminded of. The movie was pretty much in hype those times. One reason being that was considered some sort of a colorful movie, in the sense, it revolved around 5 friends who study in the same college and manage the impossible of getting placed in the same company and end up living in the same house even after their weddings. Well.. Did I mention that it was 3 guys and 2 gals. Another reason for the hype being a guy of my school, 4 years my senior, who ruined his education and went over to act in the movie. Opinions do differ and a lot at it. To me it was one of those very detestable things to have done. God knows what he is doing right now!! But all the same the movie was very popular for most of us had known him personally.

Digressed a bit too much from what I really wanted to say I guess. So, now going on to what came to my mind when I realized who the second guy was. If I remember right, this guy joined my school when we were in class 8. Quite the opposite of the first one. Very outgoing. Talked to almost everyone possible. But as it stands.. then, now and always, I believe people are to you what you are to them. Though may of my classmates and friends had a lot of problems with his attitude, I never seemed to. He was good to me and I was good to him. That was the end of it. Now, back to what I got reminded of. Treasure Hunt!! To more on it.. School Sports Days are some real big events with not just sports but a lot of other I-am-yet-to-decipher-why-they-do-it sort of stuff happening on the day. The worst of it being some sort of mass exercise program where almost everyone from class 6 to 8 is pulled it. It is always a huge competition and a matter of honor to those who are able to walk out of it, by hook or crook. Luckily that year I was one of those who had the pride of being out of it because of some other commitment that I had on the eve of sports day. So when almost the whole of the school was in the grounds trying to practice it out we guys enjoyed in class. After all it was a very small number of people and never needed looking after. This guy, amongst few others,happened to be one of them. After some boring chaat sessions and stupid games this guy came up with the bright spark. Why not treasure hunt?? After all we had almost the whole high school to ourselves. As long as we did not scream and squeal it was going to be a perfect way to while away the time. And there it started.. Every day we played, for almost two weeks till the end of sports day. What started with just about 10 of my classmates and neighbours gained a lot of momentum till almost about every other student who was around was playing it. We sure missed all the fun after regular classes started.

Small, stupid incidents though they are, brought back a lot of sweet thoughts. I don't really know if I would treasure any other part of life so far as much as my high school days. I am sure there are a lot of my another friends who feel the same. I don't really know, if these two guys happen to read this, if they will remember the same things that I do or not. But I am sure they will remember something which is bound to leave the smiling. And that happiness has a long way to go.

Happiness?? What is that!!

I have been wanting to post something for quite a while now. But somehow anytime I know what I want to write about I am too lazy to make it to the comp and otherwise.. you know.. I am too confused about what to write. Even now, I have thought of some 23 things so far and nothing seems to fit in. So, again to one of my erratic musings....

Times change. I remember being at my lowest not too long ago. Not that I am high now but got to accept things have changed and not all that much for the worse. But something that I don't understand all through this is the reason as to why I don't feel good about anything these days. I do cry sometimes. Well.. a lot of times in the past few months but now that the scenario is loads better why am I not happy!!! Even this morning, when I got.. I will tell you later what I got but that was something that I have always wanted.. I was not jumping about. I was not doing crazy things. I was not calling away people letting them know of it. Just for the records, I called only my parents,my best friend and no one else. Damn it!! I just smiled and nothing more. What is happening to me is something that I really don't understand. I keep wondering why I am not as happy but no matter how much I think I just don't seem to be getting it. I don't know if it is because its takes a lot of other better things to make me happy or is it that I am just becoming so immune to all these. But as things stand now, I am not feeling great about anything.

Well.. not really. I do remember some instance when I was happy, all smiles and bubbling. It might sound too silly and stupid to a lot of people and I am sure the rest of you would think I am weird. But to let you know of what happened yesterday, I had the last paper of my first cycle test and was damn hungry when it got over. As soon as I got home I started eating. When I went to my room again I saw I had a missed call from my best friend. I knew it was to check on how I had done my exams. I called back. It was sometime like 1.50 when the missed call was at 1.20. The call started with how my exams were and then I was let known that there was a call my friend had to take at 2.00 and another one at 2.30 and would not be free for the next hour. I was pretty okay with it and like the nice sweet girl that I am, ended the call at about 1.59. I was trying to do other stuff like.. like.. hmmm.. nothing, when I got a call again from the number that I knew was my friend's in just 5min. I knew the call must have got canceled and yeah my friend said it was so. Man!!!!!!!!!!!!! Was I happy!!!!! I was literally jumping!! There was nothing much to talk of. I was just crapping about the exams, questions, my answers,my neighbors, what I wrote, what I could have written, why I did not write something and whole lot of arbit bullshit about the exam. But then, I was jumping with joy. I was happily laughing away, smiling the whole of 20min vibrant with enthusiasm. Now what to call this, I don't really know. What I sure do know is, I am changing... for the good or bad................

Phew... An offer at last!!!!

I never really thought I would be writing something along these lines. As things were I was one of those very few happy carefree souls who had a job long before the placements started in college and a good one at that. At least something that I liked. I was happy with the place, the company and best of all was the people. So it was never really a worry, though I did think of a second option. The option that would be a dream come true not for the brand or the pay but for so many other reasons.

The first blow was when my second option collapsed before I knew what was happening. I still remember how much I cried. I guess it was the second time in my life that I cried so much. The first and the obvious being JEE. It took quite sometime to heal. Dad, mom, my best friends, everyone had to work so hard to pull me back. To have put up with me that time when every second sentence of mine dwelt on the blow, was really something great. Agreed I still am not completely out of it, yet, I have grown to accept the fact and start living with it.

Life just moved on, with all my apping process and the b-school options that I had taken up. I was getting back to normal when I got my second blow. A disaster. I lost my job. As my friend still insists, its no fault of mine and what can I do when the global scenario is so bad. Well.. May be yes. But you need to experience it to know it. Suddenly I felt so stranded. I had no option. Shillong was some place that I had never considered going to, leave alone the fact that there was still a long way to go even for that to be sure. And.. Admits, I had none yet. The days when I really felt as if I was out on the streets and might very well end up staying at home after Engineering in NIT Trichy.

I was feeling so low. Well.. Not really. To be very honest, I felt nothing for a very long time. It was that nothing that scared the wits out of my best friend. It took a really long talk for him to make me cry. Just that one afternoon felt like forever. Everyone did try consoling me. But the whole point was, at that very minute, I had no clue to what I was going to do for life.

The solace came in the form of Texas A&M University. So, things slowly started getting back to normal state. But, you know what, somewhere down, it pricks, and really badly. "I don't have a job."

Then came this company.The company.After ten long days since things happened.Something which people would not have heard of for I had not till then. It was a very nice profile. It satisfied a bit of all my interests. And... I would be an analyst!! This was indeed an option and the only way out. I took it. Getting to think of it, I recollect how worried some my classmates were after the written test. Well, this was everyone's way out. We had to grab it. Believe me when I say this, this was the second time I felt nothing. The wait in between, I would have gladly attended classes. I was not tensed, not happy, not worried. I was just nothing. That is exactly how I felt even I knew I was to go to the next stage of the selection process. Things went pretty well. An hour and a half of interview, a case study, some HR stuff. Everything went with me feeling nothing.

And.. Finally... I got through. I got a job. I was happy. Contended. But I was still skeptical. I cant be doubly unlucky but you cant deny that it did happen to me once. After a two week long wait, it happened yesterday. I had made the best out of what was open foe me. Phew... I got the offer at last!!!!

Good ol Kenna days..

Back to Kennametal days.. What brought me back those memories..... Hmmm.. Got into a row.. No.. Not really.. Call it.. An enlightenment session.. Realized a lot.. Hoping to get back a lot of life.. Anyways.. Coming back to Kenna.. The thoughts all started with my trying to relate myself.. Kinda see how things would be if I am in some place out of home, with roommates and the necessity to socialize and things like that.. The first thing that comes to my mind.. Kennametal...

I really do wish I could go back there.. Not that it would be the great start.. But still it would be good in every other way.. And given the scenario.. It is one of the better ones.. I still remember the last few days.. Not everyone had the option to start there but those of us who did, we did think.. And a lot at that.. Thoughts of what life was going to be, a year from then.. What we could make our lives to be.. We were not just talking stuff but actually deciding on where we would stay, how we would align things, who we would be with, how we would manage the place to how we would commute everyday.. Not to mention are the vacations every year the other 3 were going to spend with us in Bangalore.. I can still distinctly remember the look on my yet-to-be-roommate every evening when we cross the place where we were going to stay.. Yes, that is where we would stay.. She was absolutely excited of all the prospects.. Everything was so set.. We were perfectly friendly and knew we could make the best of roommates.. We had planned on how the days would go, what we would do on weekends.. All the fun and hanging out.. We dint have to get acquainted with people.. After all 5 of us were going to start together.. Our crazy bunch.. But one of the best you can get.. All fun and frolic.. And a lot of understanding and care too.. We had even come up with Scooty pooling.. And of course there was our marketing guy's car.. Sounds silly.. But those were days.. filled with dreams.. aspirations.. drive.. and.. joy... Miss you all guys...

The best.. I always Enjoy..

I don't really know when it started but I have admired people who are creative and this at its best would be the commercials in TV. So many times they are better than the programs that are being shown. Ideas people come up with!!! It always gets me hooked up. Some cute, some funny, some very innovative, a lot of it worth watching. Ads which make me laugh, make me smile the moment I realize what it is, n some that just make me watch agape. Some of the best that I always enjoy...