I have been wanting to post something for quite a while now. But somehow anytime I know what I want to write about I am too lazy to make it to the comp and otherwise.. you know.. I am too confused about what to write. Even now, I have thought of some 23 things so far and nothing seems to fit in. So, again to one of my erratic musings....
Times change. I remember being at my lowest not too long ago. Not that I am high now but got to accept things have changed and not all that much for the worse. But something that I don't understand all through this is the reason as to why I don't feel good about anything these days. I do cry sometimes. Well.. a lot of times in the past few months but now that the scenario is loads better why am I not happy!!! Even this morning, when I got.. I will tell you later what I got but that was something that I have always wanted.. I was not jumping about. I was not doing crazy things. I was not calling away people letting them know of it. Just for the records, I called only my parents,my best friend and no one else. Damn it!! I just smiled and nothing more. What is happening to me is something that I really don't understand. I keep wondering why I am not as happy but no matter how much I think I just don't seem to be getting it. I don't know if it is because its takes a lot of other better things to make me happy or is it that I am just becoming so immune to all these. But as things stand now, I am not feeling great about anything.
Well.. not really. I do remember some instance when I was happy, all smiles and bubbling. It might sound too silly and stupid to a lot of people and I am sure the rest of you would think I am weird. But to let you know of what happened yesterday, I had the last paper of my first cycle test and was damn hungry when it got over. As soon as I got home I started eating. When I went to my room again I saw I had a missed call from my best friend. I knew it was to check on how I had done my exams. I called back. It was sometime like 1.50 when the missed call was at 1.20. The call started with how my exams were and then I was let known that there was a call my friend had to take at 2.00 and another one at 2.30 and would not be free for the next hour. I was pretty okay with it and like the nice sweet girl that I am, ended the call at about 1.59. I was trying to do other stuff like.. like.. hmmm.. nothing, when I got a call again from the number that I knew was my friend's in just 5min. I knew the call must have got canceled and yeah my friend said it was so. Man!!!!!!!!!!!!! Was I happy!!!!! I was literally jumping!! There was nothing much to talk of. I was just crapping about the exams, questions, my answers,my neighbors, what I wrote, what I could have written, why I did not write something and whole lot of arbit bullshit about the exam. But then, I was jumping with joy. I was happily laughing away, smiling the whole of 20min vibrant with enthusiasm. Now what to call this, I don't really know. What I sure do know is, I am changing... for the good or bad................
Times change. I remember being at my lowest not too long ago. Not that I am high now but got to accept things have changed and not all that much for the worse. But something that I don't understand all through this is the reason as to why I don't feel good about anything these days. I do cry sometimes. Well.. a lot of times in the past few months but now that the scenario is loads better why am I not happy!!! Even this morning, when I got.. I will tell you later what I got but that was something that I have always wanted.. I was not jumping about. I was not doing crazy things. I was not calling away people letting them know of it. Just for the records, I called only my parents,my best friend and no one else. Damn it!! I just smiled and nothing more. What is happening to me is something that I really don't understand. I keep wondering why I am not as happy but no matter how much I think I just don't seem to be getting it. I don't know if it is because its takes a lot of other better things to make me happy or is it that I am just becoming so immune to all these. But as things stand now, I am not feeling great about anything.
Well.. not really. I do remember some instance when I was happy, all smiles and bubbling. It might sound too silly and stupid to a lot of people and I am sure the rest of you would think I am weird. But to let you know of what happened yesterday, I had the last paper of my first cycle test and was damn hungry when it got over. As soon as I got home I started eating. When I went to my room again I saw I had a missed call from my best friend. I knew it was to check on how I had done my exams. I called back. It was sometime like 1.50 when the missed call was at 1.20. The call started with how my exams were and then I was let known that there was a call my friend had to take at 2.00 and another one at 2.30 and would not be free for the next hour. I was pretty okay with it and like the nice sweet girl that I am, ended the call at about 1.59. I was trying to do other stuff like.. like.. hmmm.. nothing, when I got a call again from the number that I knew was my friend's in just 5min. I knew the call must have got canceled and yeah my friend said it was so. Man!!!!!!!!!!!!! Was I happy!!!!! I was literally jumping!! There was nothing much to talk of. I was just crapping about the exams, questions, my answers,my neighbors, what I wrote, what I could have written, why I did not write something and whole lot of arbit bullshit about the exam. But then, I was jumping with joy. I was happily laughing away, smiling the whole of 20min vibrant with enthusiasm. Now what to call this, I don't really know. What I sure do know is, I am changing... for the good or bad................
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