Monday, June 1, 2009

What keeps me ticking..

Hols again!! And.. I don't know what to do at home. Its been quite sometime since I was at home and that too this jobless. Even last hols was better as I had a lot of apping work to do. But now.. Okay.. Not that I don't have anything to do. Those of you who managed to decipher my last post completely will know that I have opted for some university and more appropriately some field that is not what me as a prodie might have obviously pursued. But as it stands, I have decided to go for it and all that that comes with it. The very different course work, work schedules, slogging and the whole lot of risk involved. Not to mention is the fact is that I would be out of home. Fine.. I am not cribbing again. Getting back to it.. I have decided to do this and I really need to work on it. Actually I have to work loads and loads and loads and some more.

Being the nice girl that I am, I even bothered to get some books to study from. Well.. That was a long time ago. Its been a good 20 days since I got off with my project final review and since then I should have studied. I should have. But somehow it so happens that I don't even know the names of the books that I got, leave alone whats inside them. Not that I never made the effort to. Okay fine.. I can see you smiling.. You!! Actually, I did think so many times that I need to study. I even got one book out. To actually know how it goes like.. This evening I was so hell bent on studying. I was all this " its been so long and I have not studied at all. Today is the 1st of the month, I am starting today!!" So I did take my book out. It was sometime around 5:30, but my granny had other plans. She wanted me do some errands and when I got off with it, it was 6. "Okay, 6.. nice time to start, I am going to study till 8!!" I started. Time went by.. Not so fast anyway. 6:23.. I know it was 6.23.. I saw my mobile. I just could not concentrate, thought would check if my results are out. It would after all be some 5min job. So switched on the comp and when I got off it was 7:30!!! So.. I again started "I should study.. I should concentrate.. I need to." I thought I would.. after talking to my best friend. So.. there went the next 10min. Then I did study. Atleast I thought so.. Till my grand mother woke me up at 8:02 to ask me if I would like to have dinner and then sleep!!! Damn!!!! So.. here I am.. online.. blogging.. No.. actually.. I am trying to get myself awake so that I can study.. :)

Getting to think about it.. I realize having too much of time in hand and not much of work to do, gets me to a really lazy and horrible state. To be more honest, I really need a lot of deadlines. I still remember one of my friends saying he does not want his life to be full of deadlines, which would ruin his peace of mind. But I now realize, I need my life to be the exact opposite. If not for that, I am sure I just can't take life. I still remember the time around last hols when I was so very occupied. When I had 10 things to do and time for just 5. But.. believe me.. I did all the 10 and successfully at that. I can keep working all day long and more, but give me a whole day and just little work that too to be completed a month later, I am sure to flunk. Very hectic days, with work keeping one hooked up atleast 27 hours a day, with no time to get off, squeezing in every possible minute to something or the other, with deadlines to be long gone the next day, and me trying to do everything the best. Thats exactly what I want and that keeps me ticking..